Congratulations to Philo grad!

Raise your glasses to toast Anna Joyce O'Neil on graduating from University of Minnesota Duluth (UMD) with a degree in Philosophy and Ethics. She graduated with a 3.55 gpa, I think about .05 shy of Cum Laude (did I spell that right?). Great Job baby! You make a sexy philosopher indeed...

And of course congrats to all the other new grads of '08.

where have all the players gone? Come out and play!

Now that winter is almost over I finally started to get out and have some winter fun. We went out and bought the whole family ice skates like we’ve been talking about doing all winter. They’re hockey skates actually, where I grew up you wouldn’t get caught dead in a pair of figure skates. I’m so glad we finally did, because I forgot how much fun it is to go out to the rink and slap the puck around. I felt like a kid again; energized and alive.

I’ve brought Xavier skating 3 times now and we’ve had a blast every time. The first time was a little rough. Xavier must’ve fell about 80 times, but he got up every time and kept at it. I explained to him before we started that it was going to be tough at first and to not give up. There were a few tears right away, but after another boy arrived with the same name as Xavier that was a little younger, he got his second wind and wanted to start showing off his new skills. This video was from the 3rd time I took him skating. This was also the first time using the stick and puck. You can see he' s still a little shaky, but he manages a nice backhand at the end of the video.

The one thing I did notice each time we went was that the rinks were empty. My whole childhood I remember never being far from a hockey rink. It’s tradition around here to play hockey. Everybody was down at the rink almost every day. We loved it. Where is everyone now? Maybe it’s just the neighborhood I live in, but I know there are kids around, I see them locked up indoors, staring at the TV or playing Wii, which seems to be justified by the media, since you can’t just sit on your ass to play Wii.

Perhaps this next generation is getting lazy. Perhaps technology is making us all lazy. The kids I see now are all walking around talking on cell phones and zoned out on an IPOD checkin out the facebook profiles, installing a new widget. God forbid that we would go more than a few minutes without some form of techno self indulgence. When I was young we were made to play outside and we loved it. Maybe the luddite is right. Maybe technology is the enemy. In this blog post she talks about the notion that we abuse our environment today because we “fail to physically connect ourselves with nature”. It’s a great blog post and forced the techno culprit himself (me) to reconsider my stance on technology.

I remember reading about a study where they compared brain activity while playing video games against that while walking out in nature. The comparison was remarkable. It was like night and day. When you are out in nature your synapses are firing like a wild fire. It’s instinctual and natural to be outside. It stimulates all of your senses. Even though when you are playing video games it feels like you are solving puzzles and logically you should be improving you problem solving skills, I think overall it is healthier to just be outdoors. (sorry if I’m starting to sound like some tree hugger, but maybe I am a tree hugger)

I love technology. I make a living off of technology. But I have to take a step back and think about what effect it may have on our world. It makes me sad to go to the hockey rink and see nobody playing. I know they are hiding inside afraid of the cold outside world, zoned out on some techno brain drain. Of course there is the argument that technology improves our quality of life. After all, isn’t that the point behind technology, to make things easier? But is it really improving our lives? Or is it making it just that much more difficult to live? Just think, 30 years ago you never even saw a computer in a business or a home. Now nobody can live without them. Do we really need all this crap?

We should all be at the rink playing with our kids. That’s why I ask..

where have all the players gone?

Peace to all the techno addicts out there. Come out and play!

Parenting Tips-Be Lazy

"Words of wisdom: 'How to begin to educate a child. First rule: leave him alone. Second rule: leave him alone. Third rule: leave him alone' "

Being a parent is exhausting. Kids have a never ending amount of energy. Before I had kids I used to be out almost every night with friends whooping it up. Now when 9:00 rolls around and we finally get the kids to bed, I barely have enough energy to lift a beer.

I'm constantly trying to find easier ways to parent. It can't really be this hard can it? Is this how our grandparents did it? I don't think so. I don't think they freaked out about every little detail of the day. Nowadays we have to worry about lead paint, cutting up hot dogs and grapes (don't want to choke), car seats (I hate car seats, my mom used to just throw me in the front seat of the Duster and hope for the best), getting into a good pre-school, home schooling (what? now I have to educate them at home because the school system in this country sucks?). We are constantly on the go and it's so hard to relax because you are constantly bombarded with another reason to worry.

Well I came across a brilliant parenting technique that is just my style-BE LAZY! LEAVE THEM ALONE! What do you mean be lazy? That's crazy, madness. That goes against anything and everything we are taught today in America about being a parent. We are told we need to constantly monitor every move our children make and be sure they are constantly entertained and stimulated. Well guess what, that is a load of crap. Well at least according to this article which I think is a stroke of genius. The theory is if you leave your children alone, they will learn to entertain themselves. It will also give you more time to strengthen the bond between the parents if they aren't constantly doting over every move their kids make. Wow, such a simple concept, why didn't I think of that? I could've been sitting on my ass this whole time and my kids would've been better off for it and I'd have a better relationship. The path of least resistance could be the answer.

Well I thought this was just a fantastic idea, so I decided to give it a try. I'm not sure how long it will take for this technique to have an effect, it doesn't seem to be working very well yet. But I'm willing to try as long as it takes. If there's one thing I'm good at it's sitting on my ass. It's actually one of my favorite things to do, so this will work out perfect. Almost all last night I tried to let my kids play on their own to see what would happen. Most of the night was spent with them bouncing on my lap saying "daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy" (that goes on for about 15 minutes) "come play with us" "we're bored" "read me a book daddy" "let me watch a movie daddy" Then my son started doing swan dives into my lap to make sure he was getting my attention while my daughter pulled Anna's hair. After this went on for a while, they actually did start to play by themselves. So maybe this whole lazy thing is going to work. Please God, let the lazy thing work.

Maybe dreams do come true! Happy parenting!
peace:-)

superman is living in Duluth, MN... at our house!

recently Superman arrived at our house. He just kind of dropped in one day and plopped down on the couch. If you don't believe me I have some pictures of him as proof. Although I always thought he was a little bigger than he is.


It's been pretty nice having him around. He's really good at opening those really tight jars and fighting any bad guys that might show up at the house. When he's not fighting bad guys he is mostly just lounging around the house watching movies, playing with our toys, and eating all of our food. Sometimes he is surprisingly selfish. In the movies he is always portrayed as such a nice guy, but you'd be surprised at how he doesn't like to share toys with our daughter Aubrey or anyone else for that matter. And superman never seems to want to sleep by himself. It's really kind of cutting in on my chances for intimacy. But I guess it's worth it to have superman around.

real estate agents. what a racket!

Ok, sorry if I offend any of you fine... smiley... shiny real estate folks out there, but I've got to point out that you guys... well... you suck. I really don't understand what an agent can do for you besides open locked doors and follow you around making you feel uncomfortable. I shouldn't be so quick to judge I suppose, I've only bought one house and I couldn't afford much. But looking back on the miserable experience of buying my house I think I'd do things a little different.

The first thing I'd do different ...
is NOT HIRE AN AGENT. We let go the first agent we had because she didn't seem to know anything about what she was talking about. Then we hired another one that seemed really knowledgable and qualified. Well at least he told us how knowledgable he was, and how he was a super duper agent from the planet krypton and that he was the highest raking agent in the solar system, or something like that. He also had a big red "S" on his shirt which stood for "super" and he had a really bright white smile. I thought we hit the agent jackpot. But alas, what a terrible mess. After dragging our two kids to look at about 3000 houses that weren't even close to what we were looking for, we finally found one that was acceptable. Or maybe we just got tired of looking at houses and we would've bid on anything that didn't have walls falling down or standing next to a toxic waste dump. That was his method, to break us down into submission.

Looking back on the experience..
Our agent did not look out for our interests at all during the closing. I'm pretty sure the only thing he was concerned about was making a quick sale. I foolishly agreed with him on a few points that he minimized that turned out to be a big ordeal. I won't ramble too much about it, but in the end we bought a house that the sellers didn't want to vacate in any hurry. My agent convinced me to agree to let them move out after the close since they needed the down payment for their new house. We were told a bunch of lies, then we had to argue with the sellers to get them to leave. then when they finally left a few days later, they left us with a mountain of garbage that we had to get rid of and a lot of damage that we hadn't seen on the walkthru (since all their crap was still in here). I'm still trying to get rid of all the junk. Thanks a lot agents. You've done a fine job. And how much commission did you get? You get paid either way don't ya, and it sure is conveniently difficult to reach you since the close. bad agent! bad!

I'd sue, but I'm just not the suing type. Life goes on. Live and learn. Se le vie. ladi dadi, we likes to party. bawitdaba, da-bangy bang and all that jive.

Wait a minute, what was I talking about?
Oh yea, click the picture to see more great real estate cartoons by Eli Stein.

Peace!

relativity of time as a father

it's so crazy how time seems to speed up every year. Einstein was quoted as saying "Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity."

This can definitely be said about being a father too. Since I've had kids, time seems to be moving at full throttle. You're constantly on the move with no time to really relax and realize how much time has past. It's nice to sit back once in a while and reflect on life and slow it down a little. As a parent you really start to appreciate these rare moments. And in these moments of reflection, time tends to move even faster. How unfortunate that once you really start to live life to the fullest it passes by that much faster. Live in the present, enjoy your time on this earth. It seems to be both a gift and a tragedy all rolled into one.

If only we knew why we were here. Of course that is the big question, but too deep for this conversation. I've been reading a great book that my sister bought me for Christmas entitled A Short History of Nearly Everything by Bill Bryson. The author does a great job of describing complex physics and astronomy in a very romantic way that appeals to a layman like me. Whenever I read about the universe and it's creation and space/time it really starts to make me wonder about our place in the universe and how amazing our situation is and how lucky we are to be here. We seem to just be a big, unlikely, cosmic accident that was waiting to happen. "To be here now, alive in the twenty-first century and smart enough to know it, you also had to be the beneficiary of an extraordinary string of biological good fortune. Survival on earth is a surprisingly tricky business. Of the billions and billions of species of living things that have existed since the dawn of time, most-99.99%-are no longer around. Life on earth, you see, is not only brief but dismayingly tenuous. It is a curious feature of our existence that we come from a planet that is very good at promoting life but even better at extinguishing it." "Consider the fact that for 3.8 billion years, a period of time older than the earth's mountains and rivers, every one of your forebears on both sides has been attractive enought to find a mate, healthy enough to reproduce, and sufficiently blessed by fate and circumstances to live long enough to do so. Not one of your pertinent ancestors was squashed, devoured, drowned, starved, stranded, stuck fast, untimely wounded, or otherwise deflected from life's quest of delivering a tiny charge of genetic material to the right partner at the right moment in order to perpetuate the only possible sequence of hereditary combinations that could result, eventually, asoundingly, and all too briefly,-in you. "

Apparently we are a miracle!

Happy Holidays! It was a good year..

I just want to thank my family and neighbors for a great holiday. We celebrated Xmas 4 different times with 4 different families. Anna and I's parents are both divorced and remarried, so the kids have 4 sets of grandparents, a kids dream at the holidays. Needless to say the kids are spoiled rotten. They get at least 2-3 times the amount of stuff I used to get as a kid. I really appreciate the fact that the kids are close with all of their grandparents and they all have a very special relationship. I posted a new photo album from the holidays at picasa and piped it into this blog, a really cool feature since blogger is now integrated with google picasa I might add.

It's been a good year for us. I bought my first house ever - which was a miserable experience - but we are finally getting settled in. Our family was also very helpful in our move and every other aspect of our lives. The kids are healthy and happy, I finally graduated college (it only took me about 13 years since high school) and Anna is finishing her senior year at UMD as a philo major. We've been lucky to live next to some great neighbors that we've actually developed a great relationship with. Xavier was so sad to move away from Superior because we had the greatest neighbors there. But now we have a new great neighbor that has been very helpful with our move and welcoming us to the neighborhood. Thanks again!

I think this is something you just don't see in today's America anymore. When I was a kid I remember everyone in the 'hood knowing everyone else in the 'hood. We were always looking out for each other and each other's kids. That's a rarity in today's world. At least judging from my experience it has been. Everyone seems to be wrapped up in their self-absorbed cyber world. (I'm even guilty of that at times. I am a techno geek, but I try not to let it consume my life.)

I'm torn between a love for technology and a sadness about it at the same time. It seems to bring people around the world closer together, but it brings communities further apart. People stay indoors now trying to connect with the rest of the world instead of going outside and playing street hockey or football with their neighbors. It's transforming into a more digital society. There are many philosophical theories that say technology is at the root of all our problems. The constant struggle to automate things has actually created a much more complex, impersonal world to live in. Perhaps I'll expand on this in another post.

Happy Holidays.

I can't cook and I got robbed.

I just realized that I'm a terrible cook, or at least a lazy cook. I'm sitting here eating cheerios for dinner contemplating ordering chinese delivery, despite the fact I'm flat broke after being a victim of credit card fraud and the enormous investment of the capitalist holiday season. Then I realize that the reason I'm eating cheerios for dinner is becuase Anna isn't here. She does spoil me when it comes to food. Once again I'm helpless without her. The few dishes I knew how to make when I was single are long forgotten. I do miss her and the kids, but one can't complain about the rare peace and quiet. ;-) Back to being robbed. Someone got a hold of my check card number and managed to use it to create a fake card and proceed to use that card to charge $504.95 at a Safeway in Mill Valley, CA. I've never even been to California and the card was still in my possession. How you spend that much money at a grocery is beyond me, but that's what the amount was that came out of my checking account. Wells Fargo's systems were smart enough to recognize the fraud since the very same card was used in Duluth, MN the same day two hours prior to that. But they didn't lock my account until after the transaction was made. So I git ripped off first. Then Wells Fargo gets ripped off after they credit back my account. Then the Safeway will end up getting ripped off after Wells Fargo charges it back to them. Merry Christmas the American way! I hope they ate good with all of their Safeway take.

the vikings disappoint again!

Man it's a roller coaster of emotions being a Vikings fan. Every year they start to show a little spark, and every year they let you down.

Tarvaris Jackson made some more seriously stupid decisions leading the Vikings to a miserable 22 point deficit at half time. But in the second half they started to show some life. They had a lot of chances to come back, but just continued to disappoint. They scored 14 unanswered points, recovered an onside kick, then made a defensive stand, if Childress had challenged the catch on time they would've got the ball back. But he was too slow to throw the flag, and the very next play the vikes recovered a fumble after a rushed botched snap. It looked as if the vikes had the momentum to do it. But wait... what's this? A challenge on a fumble recovery? 12 men on the field negates the turnover and gives them 1st and 5 to boot. That proved to be the game loser right there. Damn challenges! What ever happened to old school football before the reviews and constant challenges. It's probably just a ploy to sell more advertising money by the TV stations. Vikes controlled their own destiny, but now can only get in if washington loses and we win next week against the Broncos, my true hometeam. (I was born in Denver but grew up in Duluth, torn in these games). This reminds me of the Twins game we went to last year. It was the game that the Twins won the division. It was the same situation, if the Twins win and Detroit lost, we made it to the playoffs. We watched them clinch the Central Division title, their fourth in five years, with a 5-1 victory and a 10-8 Detroit loss to the Royals on the last day of the season. It was pretty wild. So come on vikes, I'm not giving up on you yet, there's one more game to play.

sexiest philosopher in Minnesota

I just had to share a picture of Anna, the sexiest philosopher in Minnesota. This is her getting ready for a rare thing, a night out for us without the kids! We stopped by the Red Star and had a drink and listened to some music. Then we hung out at the brewhouse and watched some crazy band that was playing a saw, washboards, and a bunch of other oddball instruments. Thanks for the great night out, love ya baby :-)

Holy snow!

This winter feels like the winters from my childhood in Minnesota. The last few years haven't delivered much more than long, cold, snowless winters. It just felt so unnatural and wrong. It really feels good to look out the window and see a scene like this up in the great north woods. I remember the great halloween storm when we got, hmmm what was it.. I think about 40 inches in one day. The city shuts down and every kid in the neighborhood grabs a sled and heads out for the great hills of Duluth. I remember opening my front door and not being able to see anything because almost the whole house was covered in snow. I remember having to dig a tunnel out of our front door just to get to the streets. these are the days that make our winters fun.
I was beginning to think that our climate was being changed for good or at least for the different. This year just feels the way Minnesota is supposed to feel. The winters are just too long, cold, and depressing without a little of the fluffy stuff. SHe looks like she's having a good time, Aubrey is not a big fan of winter yet. She is much happier inside where it's warm. But here's a rare picture of Aubrey smiling and having fun in the snow. Merry Christmas!

college daze as a parent-don't do it..

So anyone that wants to wait to go to college until after they have kids is a knucklehead. Go while you're young and you can enjoy it. Trust me, it's no fun when you have kids.

Anna and I have both continued on for our degrees after having one kid together, then two kids! What was I thinking? Why didn't I finish school already? It nevvveeerr ends! I'd have to say it's probably the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. Especially since I was working full time at the same time. You are in a constant state of rush and stress. Schoolwork and work are stressful enough, but try and add 2 young kids on top of that. I honestly can't believe we made it without killing each other.

I have to thank all of my family that was there to support us. Our kids have 8 grandparents since both mine and Anna's parents are divorced and remarried. So we have had a lot of help when we've needed it. But they are not always there, and sometimes you have to write two term papers, a take home final, prepare 2 presentations (one for work and one for school), cook dinner, do laundry, put the kids to bed, change poopy diapers, all in a few days time. I thought Army basic training at Fort Lost in the Woods was hard, but that was nothing compared to being a parent in a busy house. At least in basic training you get some exercise, but about the same amount of sleep.

But it sure feels good when you finally get that degree. Yippee, now I can start living large right?But of course then you have to start paying back your student loans. UGH! Can I have a raise boss? Well, they told me it would pay off some day. I'm still waiting. Perhaps next week. I blame it on Bush. I think he is at the root of most of our troubles somehow. Probably.

WEll at least I have more time to watch football. If only I could get paid to watch football. Hmm. That would be a good gig. Perhaps I'm in the wrong profession.

pukey kids.

so anyone out there thinking of having kids should know the whole truth. Not just the warm fuzzy stuff you see in pictures, but the down and dirty details of being a real parent. Being a parent is by far the most challenging thing I've ever experienced in my life. and here's a small sample of why..

last week the kids were feeling kind of.. well, crappy. I didn't think much of it, since the kids seem to always be coming home with some new bug. But this was different than your average cold. Everything seemed fine when we went to bed, until I was woke up in the middle of the night. something smelled really bad, really nasty. Half asleep I look over at the kids laying in the bed next to me. Of course I'm huddled in a corner while they, as usual, are stretched out hogging at least 3/4 of my wonderful king size bed because they refuse to sleep in their own room. At first I thought Aubrey just spit up, but then I realized the true scope of our crisis. Xavier had threw up in his sleep all over his himself, his sister, the bed, and me. I couldn't believe how much vomit came out of such a little person, and the smell was terrible. Being the super dad that I am, I quickly started to take action, I mean panic. I realized right away that this job was going to be too big for me alone, so I woke up Anna. Her grumbling told me she wasn't too happy with me for that, but I had no choice, I was desperate. Now I woke the kids who just couldn't understand why daddy was running around like a maniac bundling up the sheets and mumbling about pukeys. I finally decided that I needed to hose these kids down. So I threw them both in the shower. Of course they don't like showers and by this point they were both screaming at the top of their lungs. All I needed now was a towel and we're home free. NO TOWELS! ahhhh!! What to do? Oh the humanity, help... Anna, anyone, call 911!! nobody there, where did she go?? How could she just leave me in my moment of crisis. By this time, it's two in the morning and my kids are standing naked screaming at the top of their lungs soaking wet, freezing, trying to figure out why daddy woke them in the middle of the night to torture them for a while.

But alas, Anna came to my rescue with the towels and clean sheets! I'd be lost without her. In no time at all we had the kids dry, un-pukey, and in bed sound asleep. As usual she saved my butt. Thanks baby, love ya.

then of course two nights after that I was driving home with both kids in the car. For some reason, I decided it would be nice to take the long way home on skyline since the kids were both quiet in the back. Right when we pull onto skyline Aubrey starts to throw up in her car seat. Now there is nowhere to pull over on skyline, so I didn't know what to do. Xavier starts crying because our car has turned into a gas chamber and Aubrey keeps on puking. Oh Man!! Why did I go this way? I can't pull over. What if she is choking back there? I slowed down and made sure she was Ok, she's still breathing, I think we'll make it. There was nothing I could do but keep on driving. We finally made it home and Anna comes to the rescue again. Poor Aubrey, what a mess.
Then of course the kids passed their disease onto me and I spent all last week sick and miserable. Oh the joys of parenting, nobody said it was going to be like this! oh well, tomorrow's another day. Besides, Christmas is coming. That's something to look forward to, right? right? anyone? Oh man, Chrismas again!

Here's another parent's experience with pukey kids. http://www.amptoons.com/blog/archives/2007/12/17/monday-baby-blogging-denim-sydney/ parenting ain't always fun..

New to the blog world. A blog about family and whatever else.

This is my first blog post. I'm new to the blogworld and wanted to try it out. I'm interested in the community of it and keeping in touch with people I know.

I'm a 32 year old guy living in Duluth, MN. I have two kids, a 4 year old son named Xavier and an 18 month old daughter named Aubrey. I live with both of my kids and their mother Anna O'Neil. I was going to use this blog to talk about the goings on in our family and post pictures and stuff. The kids grow up so quick I thought it might be cool to have a log of their activities and ours. I'm also kind of a computer geek. Well, I'm not a typical computer geek, but it's what I do, and something I like to do. I work as an IT specialist for the local newspapers, so I might ramble a little about technology on this blog as well. That's all I've gotta say right now.

Peace :-)